Honey Mustard
by yllimilly
Summary: YGOFFC S8,5-T1. Mai and Joey have been going in circles for a while. Maybe it's time for them to move on. And maybe it won't hurt, either. Grown-up polarshipping with a hint of snare.


**Honey Mustard : Anatomy of a Breakup  
><strong>

.

**When Joey's 17, Mai is 24. So how old does that make her when Joey's 21? Polarshipping oneshot with a side of ?-shipping, written for contest. Rated M for language and topics. Thanks to the lovely folk who assisted me with data, grammar and vocab. Reviews are most appreciated, shall be replied to and I am more than willing to return the favor. I hope you enjoy. -Milly  
><strong>

.

"Okay, Mai. I think I got it," Joey said.

Mai found herself having a hard time upholding his unusually hard gaze. And maybe so did he, because as he slipped out of bed, he turned away and repeated to himself, shaking his head ever so slightly: "I got it."

They'd gotten into one of their innumerable fights and let it escalate to a point where neither wanted to kill the monster, and after a minute of stubborn silence that felt like an hour, he had been the one to speak up.

"Joey?" She sat up, holding a corner of her crisp, white cotton sheet to her breast. "Joey?" she called again, this time more insistently, made anxious by his apparent lack of reaction. Normally, the boy could hold his tongue about as long as he could hold his breath. He was now showing no signs that he even heard her.

"Stop it. Turn around and look at me, Joey." She tried to get a hold of his forearm, which he jerked away from her grasp, causing her to widen her eyes in surprise. "What's gotten into you all of a sudden? Can't we talk this through?"

He didn't reply, hopping into his boxers in silence in the middle of the room.

"Won't you at least look at me when I'm talking to you?" He then slipped into his slacks, and grabbed his dress shirt off the floor almost angrily, betraying at least one ounce of emotion. "I said look at me!"

She wanted to get up, too, but she was just as naked as he had been and knew all too well that the sight of her body merely canceled out all of her attempts at being taken seriously. By the time she'd ripped one white sheet off the bed to cover herself, he already had one hand on the door handle, his expensive dress shoes in the other.

"Joey! For God's sake! Sit down so that we talk through this!" She heard the click of the front door and raced to it. "We were just talking," she yelled at the young man jogging down the four floors leading to the exit, the mute sounds of his feet against the concrete steps lost in the fury of her own heartbeat.

It didn't matter where he was going, because true love always comes back, doesn't it? Or something like that. But it didn't matter. These lovely tried and true proverbs didn't apply to her, and who'd be crazy enough to come back every time she chased them away?

That kid.

Until now, it seemed.

The sound of the heavy door of the apartment block closing on itself meant she was left all alone with the humming of her refrigerator and a good half dozen shining trophies. She threw the biggest one on the carpet with moderate strength. Plain out of spite. The golden plastic didn't break.

.

"He just up and left," Mai repeated, distractedly toying with the blurred remnants of her honey-nut sundae. "Didn't say a word." A young waiter came by with a refill of iced water; Mai hid her face from him, and Vivian thanked him with a sharp, curt nod and a forced smile. The waiter left without a word.

"I don't mean to be blunt, Mai, but you told me _yourself_ that you never wanted this thing to get serious." Vivian took an apple out from her tote and laid it on the small table next to her untouched frozen treat. "Don't tell me you were...?"

Mai took her sunglasses off, revealing a puffy red pair of purple eyes. "Well," she started without too much conviction. Unable or not wanting to find the right words, she began toying with a paper napkin. "I-" she laid her palms flat out on the table, chewing on her lip- "maybe, you know..." She dropped the napkin. "I don't know, Vi. I have no idea."

Vivian tore a bite off the apple with a crisp sound. "It's not a big deal, Mai."

"What?" The half hurt, half incredulous look on Mai's face didn't phase Vivian out.

"He'll come back." She took another loud bite. "It's always been that way for as long as I've known you guys."

"But he sounded so serious!"

"Based on what? The two and a half sentences he gave you?"

"You weren't there. He won't be back." She let her spoon drop in the sweet mushy mess and replaced a blonde bang behind an ear. "I went too far."

"That's what he likes. He wants it that way. Trust me, he'll be back."

"I went too far and maybe that means I don't really want him to come back," she repeated in a half whisper, looking away at the people strolling by the terrace.

Vivian squinted her eyes, taking a more cautious stance. "Did he hit you?" she asked without lowering her voice.

"No! God, no!" She looked around sheepishly, surveying the nearby patrons of the place in hopes that they hadn't been paying attention. "He'd never."

"You know, hon." Vivian drank a gulp of her iced water for good measure. "There are worse things, in life, than letting go of a casual fuck. An underage casual fuck."

"He's 21," Mai hissed, not even daring take a look around to see if they'd been spotted by patrons less tolerant than she was of Vivian's forthright manners. "Sometimes I feel like he's the grownup and I'm the kid."

"But to his face you kept calling him 'Kid'."

"Yeah." Mai bit her lower lip.

.

Mai spent that evening alone in her condo, treating herself to what Vivian called well-deserved 'me time'. It was more an excuse not to show her swelled face to outsiders (she couldn't help but weep when Vivian told her it was going to be alright) and nurse the headache caused by that painful exercise in dehydration.

But in actuality, she was waiting for that sweet little ringtone of his to make itself heard. Three times she resisted the urge to text him, and locked her cell phone in the drawer of her writing table.

_It wouldn't hurt to let him know I miss him._

In all honesty, she wasn't sure whether she really wanted to see him or if she just felt lonely. The sex was nice, and they enjoyed each other's bodies a lot, but he wasn't the snuggly type. She didn't have a TV to do something laid back like watch a movie and they didn't really go to his place because, well, he rarely ever had 'a place of his own'.

So they usually talked about Duel Monsters before they engaged in foreplay or sometimes after sex, which they were both very enthusiastic about... But then again they also saw each other and talked about DM a lot at work, which they didn't always want to think about because even though it was their passion it still was work. They didn't have too many common friends aside from Yuugi and the gang, and it hadn't taken too long for her to decide she didn't want to hear all the gossip there was to tell about Anzu and Yuugi and Honda.

_I wonder if he talks about me when I'm not around. _

The oddly assorted blondes didn't really have any familial functions to attend and like most old couples, didn't go out all that much once they got more or less comfortable with one another. They went on a few road trips, especially at the onset of their commitment-free yet mutually-exclusive relationship, but after Joey became an uncle he did his best to stay in town so as to be closer to his sister. So...

In the course of five long chaotic years, they'd drifted apart. She didn't want to let go, but she wasn't sure she was ready to make whatever efforts were necessary to patch it up. Or shape it into something tangible. She didn't know where to start, either. What was there to fix? Who was to blame for what? Or...

Or were they just plain incompatible?

… and suddenly, against all odds, a sound at her front door. Even better than the ring of a cell phone. Even better than the ring of a doorbell. The nonchalant knock of the knuckles of the man she thought she missed like crazy. And indeed, the door opened to the sight of a honey mustard colored haired youth.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Joey stood upright, his tense shoulders betraying him. She, too, had straightened her back, trying to look proud and God forbid not like her knees were about to give in.

"So... you been good?" He looked a little ill at ease, scratching the back of his head, looking for something to stare at.

"Good, good." She took a step back. "You?"

"Same old. Listen, Mai, you got a few minutes?"

They sat on the couch at a respectable distance from one another. Mai suddenly remembered that their first time had taken place on this very couch. She blushed.

"Yanno, about last time..." He sighed. "I'm not angry or anything. Okay? I'm not mad at you or anything. It's nothing like that."

"Okay." Her pursed lips wouldn't let her speak further. She nodded, evading his gaze. "Okay." She smiled in relief, then wiped the overflowing brim of her eyelids.

"It's just..." he went on, "I think maybe we're not made for each other or something. Nothing against you, Mai."

They talked for a bit, he pensively, she in scattered half-sentences, and then the other way around. Once there was nothing left to say, he headed for the bathroom, hunting for deodorant and a razor, while she went for the bedroom, gathering whichever socks and boxers he might've left behind in the laundry basket.

The now ex-lovers exchanged a brotherly hug, and before she closed the door on him, he said: "See you on Sunday."

.

Mai kept her mind busy with a variety of mundane things until Sunday came up and she was on Otogi's doorstep.

"Mornin'," gruffed out the green eyed boy. Well he could legally drink now, but would remain a boy in her eyes for many years still. "Wan'some coffee?"

"Sure. Joey here?" She stepped inside the eccentric little house.

And indeed there was Joey, lying topless on Otogi's couch, stretching his young muscles like a cat. Why was it that Kaiba called him a mutt? She glanced at him, as she followed Otogi into the kitchen. Joey soon joined them in their zombie-like trance, staring at the gurgling percolator in silence.

Years after a hectic string of epic battle waging against a variety of evil supernatural forces, Joey and Mai were still making a living off the world's most beloved card game, only without the glam of rescuing humanity as they did. And after a few years of getting bored over bookkeeping and inventories and the occasional marketing, Otogi retired early and sold his store. He surfed on his savings for a little while, got bored again, and took a few DM duelists he knew under his wing, acting as their 'PR and career manager'. Mai and Joey were among the lucky ones to benefit from his services, and they stuck with him ever since. He landed them a few interesting gigs they couldn't have thought of themselves. Plus, he was generally enjoyable to be around despite his odd whims.

All gulped down their caffeine fix and the men-to-be followed Mai to her car. The drive to the neighbouring state in which their weekly DM tournament was being held would last exactly three and a half hours during which the boys, both seated in the back of the car, chatted in hushed tones, perched over Otogi's iphone, sometimes erupting in earnest laughter over things Mai couldn't see nor hear from the driver's seat.

At moments, she got lost in her thoughts - or if she was luckier, in the road - only to come back to her senses miles later to a silence that would be normally suspicious, knowing the two accomplices, if it didn't feel so soothing.

They stopped at a service center to sample a load of that American road cuisine they had forcibly grown accustomed to over years of dueling throughout the country. Joey, as if motivated by some sort of unspoken dare, convinced the young waitress to get him a good dozen mustard packets. Otogi's smug look, as he watched his protege drench his biscuits in the canary yellow paste, wasn't lost on Mai.

Otogi's non-stop tweeting, and Joey's unapologetic munching barely annoyed her, much to her surprise. The tension she'd been apprehending all week was nowhere to be found.

Nevertheless, she didn't perform too well at the tournament, losing in the third round to the relative newcomer who would end up winning first place. She and Joey didn't get to play against each other. And for both of their press pictures, which Otogi had staged and which, for some reason, he was to take part in, she stood in the middle of the trio, unsure whether it was their entangled fingers she felt dangling softly against the small of her back.

.

"Dead!" Vivian screamed over the roaring keyboards and strobe lights.

"What?" Mai cupped her bling-laden ear with her free hand, and leaned towards her friend.

"I said this place is dead," yelled Vivian over the 90's electronica erupting from the club's loudspeakers and straight into the young women's eardrums. "Maybe we could try that cougar bar."

"I'm not even thirty yet!" Mai replied indignantly.

The drum and bass seemed to have chosen this very moment to halt themselves. The curious, scrutinizing or just plain drunken stares of the early twenties crowd made Mai feel rather self-conscious all of a sudden. The next song kicked into gear and all was soon forgotten.

"Ugh." Vivian scoffed at the youth dancing off their pheromones. She then looked at her jaded friend, almost slouching on her bar stool, then at the crowd again. "Are you sure you want to stay here?"

The question caught Mai off-guard, drawing her from some sort of reverie. "What?"

Vivian nearly slammed her drink on the counter, grabbed Mai by the arm and lead her out of the club and into one of those sit-down places that can't do cocktails to save their lives.

A pub.

"I think we have less chances of meeting fuck-ups in a place like this," said Vivian, claiming a two seat table. "No stupid young kids." The crowd here was slightly different. More facial hair. Less perfume. Less music, more cheer. Some sport event played mutely on the television screens.

"So I guess this is where the stupid young kids come when they get older." Mai eyed the menu, unconvinced. She wasn't sure she wanted to order something that could have been named after a Scottish village.

"Cynical much?"

Mai paid no attention to that inconvenient truth.

"Hey, see that guy over there? He's big money. I see him at the gym a lot. Real estate," Vivian nearly whispers. The man in question looked a bit conservative for Mai's tastes. But maybe that's the fate of the common folk who don't live up their dreams of playing a children's card game their whole life.

"I'll be right back." Mai beelined for the bathroom, and Vivian jumped on the occasion to join the real estate guy for the time being.

On her way back from the ladies' room, Mai took in her surroundings a bit more. Not many known faces in the dimly lit bar save for one massive blond head - no, the slick black ponytail seated next to him was familiar to her as well. Otogi, animated as ever, spoke to (not with, _to_) the bartender like he was an old acquaintance, and Joey merely smiled at the whole scene, laughing from time to time to Otogi's undoubtedly witty and/or flirty comments. Mai couldn't prevent brushing against Joey's back when she walked past them.

"Oh, hey Mai."

"Hey." She set a blond bang in place behind her ear. Her clubbing attire must've seemed out of place in this establishment, but Joey was one of the rare few who had seen her in bed hair and without makeup. At any rate, if he was surprised, he masked it remarkably well.

"You doing good?"

"Yeah. I'm with a friend."

Otogi was showing some iphone app the bartender who did seem quite genuinely interested in the device.

"Same here." He grinned, his eyes nearly closing into slits as he did. "Togi thinks he might get us to appear on a talk-show."

She liked how the word 'us' sounded. "That's nice. Keep me posted. I'll see you around, then."

"Yeah. See you around." The gentleness in his eyes made it sound more like, 'take care.'

Vivian was waiting for Mai like a puppy after their master's day long absence, and she retold in great detail the conversation she'd had with the real estate guy, who lacked substance, and his friend, on the other hand, who made the prospect of a romantic kayaking trip very likable. By the time the waiter arrived, Mai hadn't gotten the chance the pick her choice of drink.

"I'll have whatever you recommend," said Mai simply.

"I recommend you have this Belgian ale," replied the young man as he laid down two heavy glasses on the table. "Courtesy of your friend over there."

Curious, Mai looked in the direction showed by the waiter, hoping to thank their benefactor with a smile and a curt nod, only to find herself staring at the very spot Joey was sitting at, shoulder to shoulder with Otogi. Knee to knee.

The ale was blond, almost white.

A thousand bubbles slipped away from their slender glasses into the air, invisible and free.

.

_o_

_O  
><em>

_(the end)_


End file.
